Done and Not Done - A Graduation Tale

Earlier this month I finished my Associates Degree finally and graduated!! (If you couldn't guess, this is the DONE!! part! Yay!) Andrew and I both did really well that semester!! I got another 4.0, and Andrew had all A's (2 were A-)! I'm super proud of him!! :-)

 

My Mom, Step-Dad, Grandma, and 5 of my 11 Siblings

It was so nice to be done and celebrate my accomplishments with my family. I especially appreciated all of the efforts they all made to be there! My mom had to get up super early to make it, since my graduation started at 8 AM.

My Two Beautiful Moms :)

After the graduation ceremony, we went over to my Mother-in-Law's house for lunch. She made her amazing chicken salad sandwiches and her coworker made some amazing brownies for me!

My Mom & Step-Dad Jason

 It was a wonderful accomplishment for me to finish my Associates Degree, especially since originally I was planning on being done with my Associates Degree...

Me & My "Snuggly Haired Grandma"
That was what I called her all my childhood

Three Generations :-)

This is where the "Not Done" comes in.







Andrew and I talked about it, and I'm going to be getting my Bachelor's Degree. I knew this already when graduating with my Associates Degree, but I felt like I should walk anyway and prove to myself that those semesters of working my tush off actually was going toward something. It was worth it, if only to celebrate with my family.

My Super Awesome Little Sister!!

I'm going to be getting my Bachelor's in Behavioral Science with an emphasis in Family Studies. When I get my Bachelor's Degree, I'll have pretty much everything done to become a Certified Family Life Educator. There are just a lot of classes for that degree that I want to take before I finish and we start Foster Care and everything.






In other exciting news, this super awesome little sister of mine is going to be moving in with us for a while! (A while means however long until she gets to go to the MTC after she gets her papers in & everything). This is so she can get a job up here and save up for a mission. It's going to be pretty awesome!




We had one week off from school after my graduation, then we started Summer Semester. Andrew will be struggling through Calc 2 after 8 years of no math. He's a little panicked over it, but we both believe that he can pass.

I'm a little burnt out after last semester, but I'm still going to do my best this semester and that's all anyone can really ask of me! (Is  it considered my best if I'm currently procrastinating doing some homework to write this post? Hmm...)

Hope all is well with you!

With Love,
The Christiansens

No Longer Trying - Leaving it in the Hands of God

Thank you all for your love and concern that has followed my open and honest post concerning our current infertility. It has been a hard thing for us, and I appreciate that you all have responded so understandingly and lovingly.

Recently, I was put on Clomid for a couple of cycles, and although I know I could continue it still, we are choosing, for now, temporarily, to stop trying. Before I get bombarded with "Don't give up!" and other encouraging words, let me explain why we have decided this.

During the two cycles of Clomid, I received answers in a couple of blessings. One was a blessing Andrew was given at the beginning of the school semester. In the blessing, he was blessed to be there for "his sweet wife" and to help me through the disappointments that would be ahead of us. With those words, I knew that the Clomid was not going to work this round; namely, I was not going to get pregnant. I was not surprised when my period started. During the next round, I asked Andrew to give me, along with my Step-Dad Jason, a healing blessing. Partially to help with my cold at the time, but mostly to heal my body and let the Clomid help me get pregnant. However, the blessing I asked for was not quite the blessing I received. I was promised that I WOULD receive the great desire of my heart, and that eventually all of the efforts I was making to get pregnant would pay off. Andrew and I both walked away from that experience knowing that it was not going to work this round either, and that was when I started entertaining the thought of no longer trying.

What Do I Mean By "Not Trying"?
This does NOT mean that we will be using contraceptives again. I will even still be taking prenatal fertility vitamins. This DOES mean, however, that I am going to box up my fertility monitor, my OPKs (Ovulation Prediction Kits - like pregnancy tests, but they tell you if you're ovulating or not), my pregnancy books, and basically everything else. No more charting, worrying about whether or not I'm ovulating, etc. The only "exceptions" will be the prenatal fertility vitamins and keeping track of when my periods are starting to see how long my cycles are. That is it.

Why, after two years of trying, would I choose to suddenly stop?
Well, during my reflection, I realized that not all of the changes that I had made since I started TTC were good. For a while, I had started focusing on what I didn't have yet (a baby) and wasn't concentrating as much as I should have on what I already have (a wonderful husband). I even caught myself murmuring about it with my friends, which must have been very uncomfortable for them... Don't get me wrong, I have had a lot of spiritual growth and learned some VERY valuable lessons during this time, and I wouldn't take back any of this difficult trial. But I need to focus on the blessings I have already received rather than mourn because I have not yet received one particular blessing.

Additionally, I have been doing the Clomid, the fertility monitor, and so on, and I'm still not pregnant. Every time I ask for a blessing on it, the answer is always, "I have promised this to you, I always keep my promise" and so on. God just reassures me over and over to not worry about it, that it will happen. If my efforts have thus far gotten me nowhere, but God has already promised me that it's going to happen, why should I be worrying and trying to make it happen? I'm still going to do the prenatal fertility vitamins because I want to be healthy in case I do get pregnant while "not trying", but other than that, I think I can trust God and leave it up to Him. It's never been about me or my timing anyway.

So, consequently, I decided that something had to change. I decided that I needed to stop worrying and stressing over things that I don't have any control over (I can't MAKE myself get pregnant) and instead focus on what I do have control over. Namely, getting in better shape, enhancing my marriage and trying to actually enjoy this period that we have without children rather than let it pass by waiting for the next big thing. I don't want to look back on my marriage, some years in the future, and regret wasting my life worrying about the future and not living in the present.


I can't guarantee that this change will be easy for me. We aren't giving up, and we still want to have children together. There are definitely days still that are hard and it hurts because I want a baby. I know that Andrew really will have a hard time with this change, because he also REALLY wants a baby, and I don't know if he will be able to mentally step away from that at all and stop worrying about it. Honestly, I think he's had a harder time with this than I have; he's just quieter about it and doesn't talk about it as openly as I do. But we're going to try. We're going to try to stop trying and leave it all in the hands of God. He's been the one in charge this entire time anyway.

Exciting Times!

We have had some exciting times lately in our little Christiansen Home :)

First off, the absolutely most exciting news: one of my lifelong dreams is going to be fulfilled in April! I have the wonderful opportunity of singing in the April General Conference during the Saturday Afternoon session! The Orem Institute of Religion is directed by Ryan Eggett, who is PHENOMENAL! Additionally, we have the largest institute in Utah, and so we will be able to be performing on our own! Saying that I am excited is a bit of an understatement. I feel so honored and blessed to be a part of this. It's also intimidating, since we will be performing for, oh, approximately 4-10 million people... It will be worth it knowing that I am singing for my family, friends, and my Savior, though, and luckily I (usually) don't really get stage fright all that badly.

For Valentine's Day, Andrew and I created our own little retreat to "get away" from school and chores by renting a hotel, going out to dinner, and then going out to breakfast the next morning just before going to go see The Lego Movie. We saved up for this, and even though it was kind of expensive, it was so nice to just get away for the weekend! Andrew got me a miniature white rose bush and a bag of my favorite jelly beans for Valentines :) (in case you're wondering, it's green pear). I got him the next expansion for The Lord of the Rings Card Game, and we played all night. (At least, it felt that way, especially when I couldn't sleep at 3 AM so we got up and continued playing).

We have also decided that I am going to take Summer Semester classes, so Andrew and I will both be graduating with our Bachelor's Degrees at the same time next year (April 30th). This is a huge thing, and I am excited to be done with school! I am also feeling a bit overwhelmed looking at the classes that I have to take coming up, such as my Advanced Research class... I am confident that I can handle it, but I am also confident that I am probably going to get burnt out before I've finished. This current semester is one of my hardest, since I am taking 15 credits of core classes, without any P.E. or dance classes to make it more fun. Andrew has only 4 classes he has to take after this semester, but unfortunately is going to have to drag it out in two (or three, if he decides to do summer semester) semester.

That is pretty much it, honestly. Other than that, we are trekking through school and trying to make sure we pass our classes!
Love you all!
- Elizabeth

The Cost of Weddings

Andrew and I saw a blog post recently on how much Utah brides typically spend on their weddings. The majority of them, I noticed, were $5,000 or less. I was surprised to see how expensive it could get for other brides. Suddenly, I felt a whole lot better about my own wedding day.

You see, I didn't get the dress I wanted, and we couldn't afford the reception decor package that I originally wanted. I didn't have catering or matching bridesmaid dresses or a program with singing and dancing to make my reception more interesting for the guests.

Do I wish I could have been in the $1,000 dress that I really loved and looked incredibly flattering on me? Absolutely. Giving that dress up was one of the biggest regrets that I had about my wedding day.

Do I wish I hadn't been as bored at my own reception and planned a more fun event for myself and my guests? That would have been amazing!

Do I wish I could have gotten my best friends and family member in matching dresses and suits to make the pictures look classier? Yeah, a bit.

But, on the other hand, after seeing that post, my husband and I became curious about how much we spent on our wedding and it was SO validating when I realized that we did all of it for about $2,000 (it was just a little under $2,000). The dress, the rings, the honeymoon, the decor; all of it.

I am not saying this is the right way to go for every couple. If you have the money to get your dream dress, get the backdrop and location of your dreams, and so on, good for you! Enjoy your wonderful special day. But if you don't, then there's nothing wrong with starting off your newly married life not going into debt over the wedding. It turns out, you may have access to more for less than you realize. And if not, isn't marrying them the one thing that REALLY matters about the entire event more than anything else anyway?